Day 6 - Our court date and final goodbye

                                                               She loves stickers!!

                                                                     She also loves bubbles!

                                         She will fit right in as a Bendick because this child can eat!

                                           We are officially the proud parents of sweet K!!

She belongs to us! 

We woke up this morning feeling very sad that it was our last day. I was also feeling anxious about going to court. I guess because I knew that anything could happen. We have certainly come to expect the unexpected. While I was hopeful that everything would go smoothly, I was nervous nonetheless. I was also saddened to read in the news that there is tension in Gambella, where K is from. The word is that the local government is poisoning the water supply there to clear the land for some sort of project. There was an uprising there in 2003 and they fear there will be another repeat of this. We got picked up at 8:30 to headed to court. When we got there I was surprised to enter a small nondescript building on a busy road. Not that I was expecting a grad courthouse like we have in the US but I thought it would have been something different. We entered the building and were lead to a waiting room that was pretty full. We laughed because there was a sing on the wall that simply said, “Silencio.” No one was being very silent however. We had brought books along because we were told that we had to be very quiet while we waited. I had only read two paragraphs in my book before our names were called. We went in the room with another family we are here with. It was amazing to see our huge thick file on her desk. After being in Ethiopia for a week and experiencing how things work I marvel that anything gets anywhere where it is supposed to. But somehow it all works out. We were asked a series of questions which only the men were allowed to answer. They answered yes to all of them and then she said, “You are approved. The children are yours.” My mouth dropped open! That was it! I knew from talking to the other families that the process was swift but I was still expecting something more. We were overcome with emotion realizing that sweet little K was actually a Bendick (at least from an Ethiopian standpoint)! I really wanted to sit there and cry but we were whisked out the door and escorted back outside. We exchanged congratulations with one another, took pictures outside the courthouse and then were picked up to head back to Hannah’s Hope for our last goodbye. My stomach was churning and my heart heavy as we knew this was not going to be easy.

When we arrived at HH all of the kids were wearing visors that they had made and decorated with stickers that morning. I knew Andrew would be proud because K was wearing one that simply had a football on it. K wanted to begin with looking at our family book when we arrived. She looked through it about 4 times. She gets Andrew and Luke mixed up which cracks us up. I guess two white blond headed boys look too similar to her. By the third time of going through the book each time she starts to get it right. We then moved onto playing with the other children. We pulled out the memory game and she and another little girl had an incident. I didn’t quite see what happened but I think they both smacked each other as they were arguing over the cards. One of the special mothers came out and gently began talking to them and was trying to get them to apologize to one another. Well they wanted no part of that. Then they both sulked for about 45 minutes after that. This proves that girl drama is universal! Even Almaz, the director, had been lamenting the fact earlier in the week that there are so many girls here and they can be moody and dramatic. Too funny! I was actually glad that we were able to see how K reacted in these kinds of situations. We wanted to see all sides of her personality. She remained very quiet and upset after the squabble with the other child. She wouldn’t eat her lunch and one of the special mothers had to feed her. I hated seeing her so sad on our last day. After awhile she began to recover and was her playful giggly self. Just as we were getting into the swing of things with her we were told it was time to go. Matt and I had to cut our time short today so we could to go to the US Embassy to try to get an important document notarized. The pit in my stomach which hadn’t really gone away was in full force and we begged for 10 more minutes, which turned into 30. We walked her into her room and told her that she was going to keep our family book here. We placed it under her bed where hopefully it would stay safe. Then we knew we had to face the inevitable. We scooped her up in our arms to say goodbye. This time we knew that she understood that we wouldn’t be back tomorrow. She held onto me for while and then when I handed her to Matt, she would not let go of him. It was a repeat of how she was with me on our second day. She was clinging on for dear life and would not let go of Matt. She was crying and when the special mothers came over to try to help it only made it worse. Finally Almaz came over and told us that we were going to take it slow and get her settled before we left. And her plan was for her (Almaz) to be holding onto her when we left so that they were not taking her from us. Thank heavens! She suggested that we return to what we were doing before we said goodbye. So we went into a room and began coloring. Brooke will be thrilled because this child loves to color! She was still very sad but she sat there quietly with is as she watched me color and Almaz kept talking to her in Amharic. Since she came to HH not speaking Amharic and has only been there two months she isn’t fluent in Amharic but knows some of it. We could tell she understood at least some of what Almaz was saying because she settled down and began to relax. Then, Almaz asked her to show her the family book. So Almaz took her by the hand and we all went into her bedroom again. Almaz sat down with her and looked through the book with K. Then we walked out into the courtyard and gave her one last kiss while Almaz held her. Then K pointed up and was communicating that she wanted Almaz to take her to the balcony so she could wave goodbye. We climbed into the van and waved goodbye as she was held by Almaz calm and smiling and waving. It was such a relief to leave that way. I am crying all over again as I write this because we miss her already and will miss her everyday until we return to bring her home for good. We will miss all the kids at Hannah’s Hope. They are such dear and precious children of God.

It took us about 30 minutes to get to the US Embassy. I was kind of interested in going. I had always assumed that your country’s embassy was there to help you but we discovered this was not the case. (Think DMV, just in a different country) Not only did we have to wait in line with everyone else who was not a US citizen, they wouldn’t even do what we wanted them to do! Even though it is no problem to get the documents notarized stateside they wouldn’t do it here. We could have pushed more but had the sense it was futile. Our tribe let us down big time. We have found Ethiopians to be much more helpful and accommodating. What a wasted trip when we could have spent more time at HH.

We returned to the hotel and I collapsed on the bed emotionally drained from the roller coaster ride of emotions we had experienced. I slept for about two hours and then got up to finish packing. We met with the other family for one last meal together and then headed for the airport with them. We were so sad to leave but definitely ready to get home to our children who we have missed so much. When we arrived at the airport I guess we shouldn’t have been too surprised to discover that the process of checking in is much like driving down the streets of Addis Ababa – a complete free for all!! There were people cutting in line and busting past us with not a care in the world. The four of us quickly caught on and put an end to that. We actually had to form a blockade as we went through the immigration line. I had never seen anything like it. This group of women, all in headscarves, were trying to push their way through just to get ahead in the line. We kept telling them no and even though they were breathing down our necks – literally!- we held firm. It was actually quite comical as we had about 30 women (and a few other irate locals that were still trying to hold their place in line) literally stacked on each other right behind us and the rest of the line behind them was all in a fairly decent single file line. There would have been rioting in the US if people tried to do that. After surviving the immigration line we went into a duty free shop where they had chocolate! Hooray! One thing we had not found in Ethiopia was chocolate. We bought a bag but were sad to discover it was petrified. It must have been sitting on that shelf for at least 10 years. Oh well. Our chocolate fix will have to wait. After making it though yet another security line we said our goodbyes to our new friends we made on the trip and went to our gate. It has definitely been the trip of a lifetime and I cannot wait to return in hopefully just a few weeks. I feel peaceful knowing that even though we will miss K tremendously we know she is loved and well taken care of. We are certain of that. Even though this adoption process has been one of the hardest things I have ever been through, we can now see how God orchestrated all of the events and details beautifully as he has blessed us with this child who he had chosen to be ours. To Him be the glory for blessing our family with her.