A Season of Thanks

 My aspiring gymnast

 Loved traveling with me to Texas

 Lila at her first beauty shop appointment.  She thought this was awesome!

 Sleeping "Booty" and Rapunzel

 Riding the Rhino on the farm in St. Louis was a big hit.

 She was so ready to get started on her first day of school.

This is what she did when she got her stocking in the mail that my mom sent her.  So funny teaching her these new traditions.

It is true.  I am the worst blogger ever.  I have good intentions. I compose posts in my head while I am out running or driving. I really mean to write them down, I do. But then evening comes and my brain shuts down after 8:00 pm.  I don't ever have time in the day to sit down and write so here I am on Thanksgiving weekend (oh wait now it is mid December) attempting to fit the last four months into one post.

Summer ended.  No more daily "yamburgers" from the pool.  The party was over.  I was a little worried about how she would react with the kids going back to school and being with just me all day long. I explained that the others had to go to school but she got to stay home with me and do school (I am homeschooling her this year).  So "Wow! What fun!  Won't it be great!" I tried to convince her how spectacular it would be since I had a feeling she was going to want to get on that big yellow school bus.  I was right.  But after we waved goodbye to the others that first day, she marched herself right up to the room I turned into our classroom and she got to work.  And this girl works hard!  She has an amazing ability to focus for long stretches of time.  She will sit and focus for two hours at a time.  I am the one suggesting that we take a break.  She is doing great and catching on quickly.  Her English continues to get better and better every week and it has exploded so quickly I can't even remember what it was like before she spoke English. Currently, she is struggling with pronouns which provides some comedy when she is telling on the boys.  "She (meaning 'he') did such and such.... "She won't stop.....

This of course makes the boys laugh hysterically.  September was a hard yet joyful month for me because I have never wanted to make time slow down so fast before in my life.  I know how fast the school year goes. From the start of school I have LOVED every day with Lila and I don't ever want this year to end.  I have already been dreading next year when she gets on that school bus.  She fills my days with so much joy.  My favorite moments come as we walk Macy after waving bye to Brooke on the bus.  As we walk we sing the days of the week song and pick a color of the day and find things that color.  I showed her how to pick lavender and rub it between your fingers to release the scent. I taught her that S-T-O-P spells STOP and we have to stop when we see that sign.  She gets irritated with me when I forget.  We laugh and tell stories and I help teach her numbers as I point to the numbers on the mailboxes.  I am seriously struggling with the thought of being away from her next year when she goes to school.  I tear up which is basically several times a day.

She is a champion eater and she pretty much eats everything now.  She eats a LOT but I think she burns off all of it because the girl is constantly moving!  In fact, her nickname has gone from "giggles" to "energy."  One of the checkout ladies at Kroger has come to love Lila and she sees her coming and says, "Here comes Energy!"  The hip hop teacher at the girls' dance studio calls her Energy.  When her Uncle Johan met her he said, "Wow. That girl is nonstop energy." She definitely lives up to her nickname. I signed her up for gymnastics classes at the end of August.  My goal for her was to learn to be a part of a class, follow directions, stay on her blue square, etc., and of course to have fun. I wasn't concerned about her skill level even though I knew it would take her teachers about 15 minutes to figure out she had some natural ability.  It did.  The teachers first gave her the nickname "giggles" which was her nickname given to her by the parents who met her at Hannah's Hope. I shared this with them which they thought was great.  She had no problem sitting and following directions, participating, etc. despite her limited English.  During her third class the teacher had the girls doing a forward roll from the trampoline onto a mat.  Almost all of the girls struggled to get their little bodies onto the mat.  Lila was the last one in line.  She ran full force down the trampoline like KcKayla Maroney and did a no handed front flip onto the mat.  The other mothers turned their heads towards me at the same time with their mouths wide open.  I just gave a sheepish smile and shrugged my shoulders. Then we watched as Lila did perfect cartwheels all the way back to the front of the line.  Again, the other moms turned to me mouths open again.  I just covered my face with my hands while laughing.  After class the teacher asked me to stay after for a few minutes.  Oh boy, here we go. The coach informed me that there is a class for girls who show "potential" in gymnastics.  They work at a higher level and he wanted Lila to try out the class.  She started the next week and has loved it.  She continues to live up to her name of nonstop energy and even while waiting in line she is always moving.  The radio is always playing in the background during her class which means that Lila is always moving.  Her teacher usually has to tell her at least once a class time, "Lila, less dancing and more gymnastics."  She also tried her hand at spotting the other girls on the bar one day.  All of a sudden I hear her voice from across the gym, "Good Job!  You did it!"  as she helped hurl a little girl over the bar.  Miss Laura had to tell Lila that only Miss Laura is allowed to spot the girls other girls but thank you for wanting to help.  My oh my.  Next session, Lila was cheering on some girls on the trampoline and Miss Laura said, " Lila, that is so nice of you to encourage your friends."  Lila quickly responded with, "I not helping them!  I fromise! (not a typo- promise is fromise in Lila speak)  So I have my little gymnast which thrills me since gymnastics has always been my passion, but she also loves tap dancing, ballet, running, I'm sure she will do swim team next summer, and basically she loves any activity where she is moving.  It is truly a hoot to watch her tap dance and do ballet.  I'm not sure she is the most graceful of dancers but she sure has fun trying!

November is adoption awareness month.  Everywhere I look there are posters advertising adoption, commercials, radio ads, books, magazine articles, articles on Facebook, etc.  It takes me back to three years ago when we began exploring the call to adopt.  It is also the season of Thanksgiving.  Not a day goes by that I don't give thanks for Lila and answering the call to adopt.  This little firecracker has filled our lives with joy and meaning and have made us better people.  One thing I didn't anticipate after we brought Lila was all of the attention we would attract.  I expected the stares and confused looks but what I didn't expect was how many new "friends" I would make.  Every time we go out someone comes up to me and starts telling me how beautiful she is.  It is usually a middle aged white woman.  This woman is usually with her husband.  The woman usually looks longingly at Lila and sometimes I wonder if these women have an adoption connection.  When they approach us telling us how beautiful she is I sense that they are also communicating that they think adoption is beautiful.  One lady at the deli counter recently started caressing my arm (really??) as she stared at Lila and gushed over her!  Now I think Lila is stunningly beautiful (but I am biased) and she has the ability to draw people to her with her lively personality but I wonder if these same women would stop her if she was with an African American woman and tell her how beautiful she is.  No one has ever caressed my arm at the deli counter telling me how beautiful my other children are. No longer can I be an inconspicuous traveler.  Recently, we flew to Texas and it was quite the experience. The best part was when we were at the Starbucks counter at the airport and the ladies working there began asking me where she was from. They were from Ethiopia as well and they even called out all the other workers (also from Ethiopia) to come see her and talk to us.  So of course we got into a discussion about ET and I told them how much I loved the country.  A couple of them got tears in their eyes and thanked me so much for adopting her.  I was blown away.  They told me that her life will be wonderful here.  They said they loved their home country but there is no opportunity for them there.  I was sad, happy, overwhelmed, heavy hearted all at the same time. I wanted to stay and talk with them all day.

Perhaps at least temporarily are the days long gone when I can retreat in my seat with my book and be invisible.  Everyone wanted to talk to her and us.  I had men and women want to know where she was from, how did we come to adopt her, how long have we had her home, how is her English.  It is amazing how many questions people ask.   Now since adoption is my favorite subject I don't mind at all.  It just amuses me.  She remains unfazed.  I wonder how long this will go on.  Will we get the same questions when she is 12? 16?

Some other little Lila stories from the past few months.

She catches on quick to ridiculous American traditions.  She lost her first tooth in our presence (3rd one in total) and I had plans to follow an African tradition of throwing the tooth on the roof and then a special bird will replace it with a new healthy one if you sing a little special song. Isn't that a million times better than the tooth fairy??!! Well as soon as she lost it one of our friends told her all about how the tooth fairy will bring her money if she puts it under her pillow.  Well that ended the sweet little bird on the roof story!  This girl loves money.  She takes after her brother Andrew!  As soon as we got home she put that tooth under her pillow and woke up extra early to show us "my money!"

It also took her about 5 minutes to catch on to Halloween.  She basically got to trick or treat three times because we did Boo at the Zoo, Candy by the Carload, and then of course Trick or Treating on Halloween night.  She came to America not liking sweets and those days are long gone!  She got the most candy of any of our kids and she is still working through her stash.  She was "Sleeping Booty" and she loved dressing up.  She already told us that next year she plans on being Minnie Mouse.

She says "blember" for remember.  When she doesn't want you to laugh she says, "No smiley!"

She is in the Children's program at Bible Study Fellowship (I am in the adult class) and she loves going and never forgets her bible and loves to share what we learned that day.  She loves Jesus and loves going to church.  She loves bible stories and every time she sees a cross she says, "Jesus." One day as we were coming home from BSF we saw a homeless man on the side of the highway.  Lila started asking me all kinds of questions about him.  When I explained that he didn't have a home and that he was hungry she said, "Well then we have to feed him! That will make God happy."  Now feeding the homeless wasn't on my list of things to do that day but how do you say no to that one.  So we went and bought the man some food which Lila had a wonderful time picking out and drove waaaaaay out of our way to turn around to be on the correct side of the highway where he was. I explained to her that he might not be there when we get back and that just means that God had another plan for him today.  He wasn't there.  Thinking Lila was going to be crushed I turned to her and she looked at me and said, "Well, we can eat now."  And that was the day we ate a homeless man's lunch.

She is bossy and loud (we are working on this) and can be a faker.  She has been know to feign illness so she can sit in the middle seats in the van instead of in the back.. Unfortunately, the kids have never stopped fighting over where to sit.  The kids are catching on quick to her ploys.  She wants to be everywhere Brooke is and do everything Brooke does.  She loves her brothers just as much but I think with Brooke being closer in age and the girl factor plays a big part.   The other day Lila was watching me brush Brooke's long blond hair into a ponytail and she says, "I want long hair like Brookie's." My reaction was to hug her and tell her how beautiful she is and that her hair is growing, blah, blah, blah.  Sweet Brooke simply got a ponytail holder and made Lila a little ponytail on the side of her head.  They both smiled with satisfaction as Brooke said, "See. Now you have a ponytail like me."   They spent the rest of the morning making little ponytails all over her head.  She was thrilled.  This is why she loves her Brookie so.

Long gone are the days where she is standoffish to Matt.  She is now the first to greet him at the door and always wants to know where Daddy is and when is he getting home.  She races to try to be the first to hug him. She loves her daddy and it is sweet to watch them together.

From the moment we stepped foot in Ethiopia I wanted to adopt again before we even brought Lila home.  I thought that desire might change but it hasn't.  I would love to adopt again.  But Matt says we are done and that four is enough.  I will have to say that I do love having an even number in my family.  There is something about even numbers that makes our family life more fluid.  It is like how I have to live somewhere with seasons.  It just works.  So I think I would prefer six kids to five kids but since that won't happen I will enjoy every day with the four children God has blessed us with.   I cannot wait to go back to Ethiopia.  I miss the smells, the crazy traffic, the people, the sounds, the tastes.  The boys and I did a 5K this fall to benefit the Ethiopian Orphan Relief group.  There were many Ethiopians there and my heart swelled just by seeing these people and being around them.  It is also always wonderful to be around other ET adoptive families.  I can't wait to  go back and hopefully it will be sometime soon.   I think about Ethiopia all the time.  We talk about Ethiopia all the time.  A piece of my heart will aways be there. I cannot wait to take our children there someday and show Lila her home country.  One night recently Extreme Makeover Home Edition featured a family who had adopted a little boy form ET through our agency, All God's Children International.  Some of the footage included Hannah's Hope and the director of AGCI speaking with Almaz (the director of Hannah's Hope) and one of the special mothers.  The special mother shown was the one who was skipping rope with Lila the fist day we met her.  It choked me up to see Almaz and this mother standing in Hannah's Hope.  I wanted to laser beam myself there right at that moment.  They also showed a half second clip of some children at HH and Matt and I kept pausing it over and over trying to figure out if one of the girls shown was Lila.  They filmed it last winter so it is possible!

Now we have the joy of celebrating Christmas with our sweet girl.  I am soooo excited about this.  She is having a ball participating in all of the festivities.   It truly is a special time.  More later (hopefully not four months later) on this.

Two months home

 Our night out at an Ethiopian dinner organized by adoptive families.  She loved eating injera again.

 She fell asleep reading about the Olympics.  Hopefully she will love them as much as we do!

 She loves to cuddle with her brothers.

 A wise friend sent the girls these dresses as she knows I love the matchy matchy.

 Our little fish!

 Showing her patriotic spirit already!

 She LOVED to jump in with the swim team for the pre race cheer!

 Notice the blue tongue!

 She has an obsession with turning her tongue different colors!

 First tea party with the dolls,

 She is following in her sister's footsteps with her love of dance.

Loves her Andrew!

We have now been home with Lila two months which doesn't seem like a long time but it feels like it has been much longer.  I honestly can't even imagine what we would do without her and I feel like we have always known her.  One thing I worried about with adopting an older child was whether or not I would grieve the fact that we missed the first few years of her life.  I thought that I might obsess about missing her first steps, first words, and other first milestones.  However, I haven't focused on this at all because after meeting her and now spending several weeks with her I can imagine in my head all of those milestones and can picture them perfectly.  Using what we know about her I can draw a picture as to just how she would have behaved and reacted.  This girl is SO FULL of personality!! She goes non stop and I can hardly keep up with her.  I mean it when I say she NEVER stops moving.  She does have the ability to focus and she will sit and do a craft, read books, or participate in a structured activity.  But when there is any down time she is on the go.  We have quite the sporty little girl on our hands.  I see many, many sports in our future.  So far she has proved to be an excellent swimmer, runner, dancer, and gymnast.  Brooke does approximately 857 cartwheels a day and Lila is having no problem keeping up with that daily number.  We are having the best summer with her and I am so thankful that God chose the timing of her homecoming to be in the summer because it has been a wonderful bonding time for all of us.  There are a million things I could write down about her but here are a few glimpses into her personality.

She is picking up English at a rapid rate.  We quit using any Amharic words after being home three weeks because she began using so many English words so quickly.  Amharic isn't her native language anyway which is why she is losing it so quickly.

She will still sing songs in her native language which is Anuak.  She especially does this in the car. It is precious and priceless and it breaks my heart to think of her losing her native tongue. 

We think that she thinks America is one big party because that is pretty much how our summer has been since coming home.  With all of the fun activities and events we have participated in we laugh that when back to school comes she is going to wonder where all the fun went.

She points to the American flag and yells, "America!"  I ask her if she likes America and she vigorously shakes her head with a, "Yes! Yes!" She already knows to put her hand on her heart when she hears the American Anthem.

Feeding her is like feeding a toddler.  She likes some foods one day and then refuses them the next.  Her favorites are spaghetti, hamburgers, fruit, corn, yogurt, and ice cream.  We discovered she loves guacamole which she had for breakfast and lunch one day this week.

She hates conflict of any kind.  If any of us raise our voices she doesn't like it at all.  She wants everyone to be happy all the time and works hard to help resolve conflict.  One day when Andrew was mad about something and started to sulk away from the breakfast table she marched over to him and turned him around and ordered him to, "Sit down!"  She then handed him a newspaper and gestured for him to stay with us at the table and read the paper.  He was trying so hard not to laugh and obeyed her.  She has this ability to get anyone to do what she requests.

She and Brooke were doing cartwheels one day at Andrew's baseball game and she started motioning for people to join in the cartwheels.  Next thing you know there are several kids AND ADULTS (including the coach and a dad who was recovering from a broken arm) doing cartwheels!  Like I said, for some reason she is hard to say no to.  I think she needs to be a diplomat!

We kept her in our room to sleep for the first two weeks until she pointed to her bed one day with a quizzical look on her face as if to say, "Why the heck am I in your room when I could have this nice big bed all to myself??" She has slept in her room from that day on and sleeps like a champ!

She loves to go wake up the others in the morning.  Her favorite way to wake up Luke is to sneak in and then viciously yank the covers off of him. He startles awake but then never stays mad at her.  I might have to use this tactic when it comes time to get him up for middle school next year!

She loves to play jokes and trick people.  She will definitely be my April Fool's sidekick next year.  My family and friends already hate me on April Fool's Day and now I have an accomplice!  God is so good!

She still loves that snack bar at the pool and has to get a "yamburger" every time we go.  And a blue slush. 

People ask if she seems to prefer one of our family members over the other.  Yes. She does have a favorite and it is the dog!  Anytime we have to scold Macy she comes running to her defense, "ASHA (her word for dog) MACY!!" and throws her arms around the dog. 
Thanks Lila, I didn't really need that loaf of bread. Side with the dog.

She learned to sing "Jesus Loves Me" and "This Little Light of Mine" the first week home and it melts my heart every time she sings it. 

She also belts out Katy Perry's, "Firework" like a contestant on American Idol.  My friend is convinced that once she understands how stupid the lyrics are she will give it up. I am not so sure.  "Boom, boom, boom, even brighter than the moon, moon, moon!" You can't get any better than that. She rocks it!

When we took her to the library we tried to get her to look at the books on Africa and Ethiopia.  She was much more interested in The Wonder Pets dvd.  Go figure.

She is starting to share with us stories from her life in Gambella and it is a treasure to listen to her recall memories. 

She still calls Andrew and Luke the wrong names. They laugh as they patiently correct her every time. 

She has an obsession with the Madagascar movie.  We took her to see the third one in the theater and it was a big hit!! Se sat there wide eyed through the whole thing.

From the first day home I taught her to make her bed get dressed and put her clothes in the hamper.  She does this almost  every morning without me having to ask.  I love this girl.

She knows how to pick the best mangoes at the store. 

She smells good all the time. No matter how sweaty she is or what she has been doing during the day she still smells wonderful. She probably thinks I am weird because I hold her and inhale deeply several times a day.  I wish I could say the same for my boys.

When the kids did their first triathlon of the season guess who shed tears because she wanted to do it too?

At her 4 hour long international pediatrician visit the Occupational therapist declared after being with her for three minutes, "Umm, I think you all won't need me."

She was a trooper when she got her blood work done.  She sat still on Matt's lap and stared at the needle, watched the blood being drawn, and then cried afterwards.  One tough cookie.

 I had no intention of signing her up for any activity for at least a year. Guess who starts gymnastics August 27th?? It was either swimming, gymnastics, dance, or soccer.  My sister helped me make that decision after being here for a week and watched her cartwheel, flip, twist, turn, and leap for 6 straight days.   Might I add that Gabby Douglas (first African American to win gymnastics gold) celebrated her win with "Firework" playing in the background. A little foreshadowing......hmmm...

We stand amazed every day at how perfectly she fits into our family.  I can't wait to share with her someday about all of the countless hours we spent praying over her and the details of her life.  Every night as I tuck her into bed I tell her that I will love her FOREVER and we will be her family FOREVER!! She smiles at me and I think she understands.  She is is a gift, a joy, and I will be eternally grateful that God called us to adopt and expand our family in this beautiful way.

One of my favorite pics of the summer. This dye cannot be good for you!!

Picking blueberries.

Champion blueberry picker!

Hike with her favorite family member, Macy!

My four sweeties!

Love this smile!

We actually managed to get a family shot with everyone smiling!

Together for good at last.

 She wanted her nails painted as soon as we got home!

 Brooke and Kewogo doing sidewalk chalk.

 Feeding each other pineapple.

 Going for a bike ride (with training wheels).  She rode for about 45 minutes!

She loves hamburgers!

 Summer is here.  It is my favorite time of year when I get to be with my kids and do lots of fun things everyday.  It is also the time when I get nothing done on a personal level during the day.  Now with 4 to entertain, it is even harder. So I am delighted right now that all 4 of them are playing some made up game and I am enjoying listening to their laughter and conversations. 

Matt made a quick recovery from his sickness and then I quickly got it.  I wasn't nearly as bad off as he was, but neither of us were able to eat solid food for a few days.  When we were finally able to eat (on Matt's birthday- just in time for a great meal and cake!) we felt like Peeta and Katniss at a feast on one of their Victory Tours.  Food had never tasted so good!  Matt was irritated that I had shared the details of his illness because for the next few days after we returned everyone kept asking him how he was feeling.
I will be honest that when we arrived home my first thought was the same that I had when we came home with our other three children.  Which was,  'That was awesome and when can we do that again?' I always loved the whole delivery and holding them in your arms for the first time experience. In fact, after I had Andrew and the nurses were wheeling me out of the hospital to go home, I said to them, "I will see you again next year."  And we did.  I have spent some time being heartbroken over the fact that we didn't capture our "Gotcha" moment on tape.  We couldn't get our camera to work in time and missed recording the best gotcha moment ever.  Perhaps it is for the best.  As much as I would love to have relived that moment by watching it and sharing it with our family and friends maybe that intimate moment was just to be reserved for us and to be replayed in my mind over and over just as I have with the other three. I  clearly remember delivering a stubborn Andrew who didn't want to come out.  In between pushing I stopped to count EIGHT nurses and doctors surrounding me and cheering us on.  With Kewogo we also had lots of people supporting us and cheering us on as we waited and waited to bring her home. That has meant the world to us. It almost seems surreal that this time in our lives have arrived and she is with us for good.

I don't even think I can put into words how well Kewogo is doing.  She has adjusted and done better than we ever could have imagined!  I was prepared for weeks of hard times, tears, sadness, tantrums perhaps, and being stuck at home not going anywhere.  She has been an absolute delight from the time she walked in the front door.  The first couple of days she was home Brooke kept saying, "I feel like she is just visiting."  I knew what she meant.  All of a sudden there is a five year old in your home and she is yours and we kept thinking, "WOW!  She is really is here!" 
I had one day alone with her while the kids went to school on their last full day.  They were very upset about having to leave her and begged to stay home.  I told them they would have an entire summer with her so they went off and Kewogo waved at them as they boarded the bus one last time for the year. My parents were still here which I was thankful for so they could spend some time with her and get to know her a little bit before they left.  They fell in love with her, of course, and she has definitely stolen their hearts.

The first three days she was home we tried to stick to her schedule at Hannah'a Hope as best as possible.  This consisted of breakfast, play, lunch, play, nap, play, shower, dinner, and bed.  She did well with this and by about day three she was not interested in taking a nap anymore.  She didn't want to miss out on all the fun with the others.  We did fine cocooning the first three days and then on the first day of summer when my parents were leaving I had 4 crabby kids.  I will admit I was a little worried that this was a preview of what was to come. We decided to get out of the house and go up to the street to the park.  I couldn't wait to see how she would do at the park.  She loved it! We took Macy which she thought was great as she LOVES the dog!  She and Brooke did cartwheels in the grass and she quickly learned to maneuver the slide and monkey bars.  She wants to do everything her brothers and sister do.  My parents left late that day and then we returned home to find our "new normal."

We had bought $75 dollars worth of Ethiopian food for her to eat the first week home.  She loved this and we would give her this while introducing our food at the same time.  This girl can EAT!  Bananas are her favorite food source and we can't keep enough, "mush" in the house.  Matt had decided to work from home the first week she was home so that he would be around so she wouldn't think that he had just disappeared during the day. At the time we thought it was a good idea but it didn't end up working so well.  He was having a hard time getting work done as he was trying to juggle so much with being gone from the office for so long and was trying to be everything to everyone.  Looking back he should have just gone back to work but hindsight is 20/20. As much as I could be with Matt 24/7 I was thankful for him to go back and for us to settle into a routine.  Part of that routine includes taking the kids to swim team practice in the mornings.  As soon as Kewogo saw them swimming, guess who wanted to swim??!!  I had no intention of taking her to the pool so soon but after she saw them and made it clear that she wanted to get in the water I decided that it looked like we would be going swimming!  I didn't even have suit for her. I got one quickly and we ventured out for a trip to the pool.  I know that hard core cocooners would shake their fingers at me with a "tsk, tsk" but I was following her lead and she was ready.  And ready she was!  Luckily we have a zero entry and she ran in that pool and began swimming around like she had been doing this all her life.  Now we are out of her ET food and I didn't pack anything to take to the pool.  I brought bananas and figured I would just wing the day.  I took her up to the snack bar and decided to let her pick what she thought looked good.  She pointed to a pop tart so that is what I got.  Now I have never even bought pop tarts for my kids EVER so we found this amusing! I bought her a hamburger since she seems to like meat.  She ate the pop tart and then she ate the hamburger.  Later she chose a lemon lime slush, ate part of a soft pretzel and had a pixie stick!  WELCOME TO AMERICA!!  This is how we eat!  The funny thing is is that this is NOT typical for us as we try to eat so healthy in our family, but I decided that one day wouldn't hurt anyone.  The next day she saw a dollar lying on the counter and held it up to me and motioned to go swimming and put her hand to her mouth as if she was eating something.  Yes. This girl catches on quick.  She loved that snack bar.

She is fun, funny, full of joy, radiant, adorable, smart, playful, opinionated, a little bossy, sweet, loving, and a true gift to our family.  I already can't imagine our life without her.

United as a family!!

 Our new friends we traveled with. We couldn't wait to get this shot of our families.

Our first family photo with Kewogo.  Matt mustered enough energy to smile for this picture.

They were immediately drawn to one another. The boys were too, but alas, Brooke probably did end up "hogging"her a little.

Sweet sisters!

Kewogo might very well indeed be a Buckeye someday because as soon as she stepped on the plane to Columbus the pilot was playing the OSU fight song.  She seemed to like it.  I told her that we were going to Ohio and she said, "Andrew, Luke, Brooke."As soon as we stepped off the airplane my stomach started not feeling well.  I truly think it had been a case of mind over matter that I didn't get sick one second sooner.  Who would have taken care of Kewogo if both of us had been sick?  Matt was still feeling horrible as we deboarded and I was very worried about him.  We had been so excited for this moment for so long but now part of my focus was getting Matt taken care of immediately. We walked what felt like the longest walk to baggage claim and as we got closer we saw everyone.  We saw the kids first as they were eagerly stretching their necks to see us.  Before we left for our trip the kids had gotten into an argument over who would get to say hi to Kewogo first.  The boys thought it should be them because Brooke always "hogs the cousins" and they were worried that she would also "hog Kewogo."  That is fair.  I was worried about that as well.  I had told them let's just let things happen naturally and see how she reacts.  When we were finally standing in front of the kids and my parents she simply stood there and smiled.  We introduced each of them one at a time and then introduced my parents.  She continued to just stand there and smile so I told the kids to give them a hug.  One by one they did and that was all she wrote!  From that moment on it was as if she had always been a part of our family.  She held their hands and began laughing and playing with them right away.  It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen.  I never expected that.  I thought that there would be a slow warm up time over a matter of days. As we were collecting our bags they were now running around like they had not just hours ago been a world apart never having met. The only thing I can think of is that we had talked ad nausea about the kids and had shown her their pictures over and over again. I guess she felt like she already knew them.  After we snapped a few quick pictures my mom took Matt to the hospital.  We knew that he was dehydrated and needed some fluids and to be checked out. 

 

My dad and I headed home with the kids and Kewogo laughed with her new brothers and sister all the way home in between looking out the window at all of the new sights.  When we pulled up to our house she just acted like it was the most natural thing in the world to be here.  We got out of the van and when we walked in through the front door she took off her shoes and the kids led her upstairs to her room.  It was as though she had been through that door dozens of times.  She was not nervous, anxious, hesitant, shy, scared, nothing!  Just completely comfortable and at home.  My dad and I watched in amazement.  When she walked into her room she began touching the stuffed animals and then went straight for the dollhouse.  It was Brooke's old dollhouse with tiny pieces and a lot of them and she immediately proceeded to remove every piece from it and place it in little rooms around the perimeter of her room.  The kids played with her for about an hour and then something funny happened.  She heard our dog bark.  Now i had been very worried about how she would react with our very large overly friendly Golden Retriever.  We had put her up before we let Kewogo in the house but now Macy wanted out. When she heard Macy bark her eyes got as big as saucers and I thought, "Oh no.  Here we go.  She is going to be terrified of Macy."  Instead she grabbed my hand and stood up and motioned for us to go see her.  I had Andrew hold Macy back and then Kewogo squealed with delight at the sight of her.  She bent down and instructed Macy to kiss all sides of her face.  Macy has no problem giving big wet kisses so both Kewogo and Macy loved this game.  This went on for awhile and then we let Andrew let loose of Macy and Kewogo and Macy got better acquainted through some play.  Macy didn't even jump which if you knew our dog you would say that is a miracle.  Kewogo did get a little scared a couple of times and quickly jumped in my arms as Macy became too playful. But only a couple of minutes later they were best friends.  Kewogo then began to explore some more of our house.  She walked through the family room and it was the first time I saw her somewhat taken aback.  I don't know what it was about that room but she stopped and stared for a second or two.  Then she made her way into the sun room and began looking out all of the windows into our backyard.  She quickly spotted our trampoline and got very excited and started jumping!  Now how in the world does she know that??!!

The only thing I could think is that she had seen picture of one from other families or in a book.  She and the kids jumped for about the next hour and a half.  She loved it!  It was the most wonderful sound in the world to hear their laughter. Her laughter and voice mixed in with theirs was like pure joy being pumped through my veins. It was also the most beautiful day outside 75 and sunny without a cloud in the sky. I had to stop and thank Jesus for this day and the fact that it had finally come. I couldn't believe that we were all together....except Matt who was at the hospital missing all of these firsts. (Hadn't we missed enough firsts?) He got 3 bags of fluids and they ran a bunch of tests but the doctors diagnosed it as basically, "You drank bad water."  He came home later that evening and we both started on Cipro which we had gotten for our first trip but never needed.  I wasn't near as bad off as Matt had been but I was not able to eat anything. 

The day continued beautifully and after playing outside for a long time we came in and ate dinner.  We still had some injera from our trip so we gave her that and some banana.  She loves bananas! My mom had made a beautiful meal of brisket and I cooked up some potatoes and green beans. Kewogo tried some of it but wasn't a fan. Unfortunately, Matt and I couldn't eat any of it.  Big bummer. We knew that Kewogo was exhausted from the day so I (Matt still wasn't home) put her to bed by 7:30 and she slept 12 hours!  We had decided in advance that she would sleep in our room the first few weeks so we put an air mattress in our room and had her sleep at he foot of the bed.  Many people have asked us how we communicate with her since she doesn't speak English and she doesn't speak fluent Amharic.  From day one we have never had trouble communicating with her.  We do a lot of gesturing and we are able to read each others faces and emotions.  In fact, sometimes I forget that we don't speak the same language.  It just goes to show you that love, joy, sadness, fear, happiness, hunger, tiredness, anticipation, the need for affection, and even the potty dance is all universal.

After I put her to bed I was able to soak in being back home and stand humbled and amazed at so many kind gestures people had made while we were gone.  Two families form our Grace Group at church had brought meals over for my family while we were away. They had done that during our last trip as well.  Our Copley friends had sent the kids a box of cookies and a congratulations balloon.  My Bible Study Fellowship class had put together a huge bag of goodies for Kewogo. I couldn't wait to share it with her and someday tell her all about how these women had been praying for her for so long. I was left speechless at all of this kindness.  I also have to add that I was overwhelmed with gratitude towards my parents for coming back a second time to take the most wonderful care of our children.  They do the most amazing job keeping up with our kids' schedules, feeding them, loving them, and making them feel secure.  All of this allowed Matt and I not to ever worry about what was going on at home.  They are truly spectacular. Thank you Mom and Dad!

Matt returned home looking more alive than when we last saw him and we relished our time back with our family.  As we lay our heads down we listened to Kewogo breathing and felt true peace in our souls.  It was the most peaceful I had felt in months.  Finally, I slept.

Leaving Ethiopia and the trip home



One happy little traveler!!!

     We shared one last meal together at The Riviera Hotel.  I had my favorite Shiro and we got an extra order of injera for Kewogo to make it on the trip home in case she wouldn't eat anything on the plane.  We were sad to say goodbye to all of the familiar faces at The Riviera.  We will just have to go back someday.  AS soon as we were all packed up and ready to go Kewogo became so hyper!  She kept talking about getting on the airplane and going to America to see Andrew, Luke, and Brooke.  She was literally bouncing off the walls with excitement.  On the way to the airport my type A husband is stressing out because we were 10 minutes late leaving.  A favorite phrase of Ethiopians is "No worries, no problem." I kept saying this to Matt as well because he gets so anxious when we travel.  His response is, "Yes, but what happens when there is a problem?"  So we get to the airport and every person we encountered kept telling him, "No worries, no problem." It was hilarious!  And, of course, we had no problems.  They were right!

Kewogo had a great time exploring the airport.  She thought the escalator was a thrill and she shrieked with delight as she rode it for the first time. She was a little concerned going through security but did great. Matt and I thought it was funny because everyone kept thinking she was a boy! She did have pants on but they were pastel colored and she had floral shoes on.  By the end of the trip we weren't amused anymore and were annoyed.  I guess I will need to get this child some headbands with bows!  She already has her ears pierced so that is a plus. Before we boarded the plane Kewogo turned to look back at the airport and said, "Ciao!" (which means good-bye).  She did is with such happiness and with a huge smile on her face.  She was ready to go and did not appear at all scared or concerned.  This made me happy and sad all at the same time.  Happy because we were finally going home, but sad because she was leaving all she has known in her tender five years and I know she can't fully comprehend what it means to leave behind everything she has ever known.  It was 10:15 when our flight departed and well past her bedtime.  I thought she would sleep immediately and she might have if someone didn't make the ridiculous choice to leave the lights on and serve a meal!  Who wants to eat at 10:15??!! We want to sleep, people!! The flight attendants continued to serve dinner for what seemed an eternity.  It was also the most disgusting food I have ever seen (notice I used the word seen because it was barely tasted except for the stale roll) in my life!  I really don't think it was real food.  When they FINALLY turned the lights off she fell asleep and so did Matt but I didn't.  In fact, I hardly slept any during the past week.  On our first trip in April I slept great.  This trip was a different story. I also simply cannot sleep on airplanes.  The lights came on again a couple hours later when we landed in Rome to refuel.  Great.  I finally dozed off after Rome when Matt told me when I awoke that he had been sick for the past two hours.  Oh.no.  My poor Matt continued to be sick for the rest of the nine hour plane ride to DC. It is the worst feeling as a wife to feel so utterly helpless.  There was nothing at all anyone could do.  When the plane touched the ground Kewogo said, "America. Andrew. Luke. Brooke." Precious.   As we deboarded all of these strangers kept coming up to me saying, "I am so sorry about your husband."  Everyone had so much compassion for him. We had a very long customs line and a four hour layover in DC and his sickness continued all the way home to Columbus.  I truly can't imagine anything more miserable!!  Luckily at least Kewogo did very well on the flight and slept for half and then played for half.  (I also watched a very good movie called 7 days in Utopia for anyone who is interested in a good family movie (10 and up and is centered around golf).
While Matt made a bed for himself on a bench in DC I took Kewogo to get some lunch.  Now what on earth am I going to feed her for her first meal in America?  I found a pizza place that served spaghetti which I know she eats but when I pointed to it she shook her head and pointed to a chicken breast instead!  OK then! This tiny little girl sat down and polished off an entire chicken breast. Even more amusing than that was her reaction to her water.  They don't serve ice in ET and I forgot to request no ice.  Keowog thought it was hilarious that her cup was so cold and kept wanting me to feel it. Then, when she took a drink of it she would laugh at how it felt in her mouth. I love watching her senses come alive during these little new discoveries. We reconnected with Matt who had been able to get some sleep and I changed Kewogo into an Ethiopian dress I had bought on our first trip.  I had bought Brooke a similar one which she was going to wear to the airport. We were thrilled as we boarded the plane to Columbus as we couldn't wait to see the kids and get Matt taken care of.

Saying Goodbye to Hannah's Hope

Friday, June 1st - Saying goodbye to Hannah’s Hope


This morning Kewogo woke up well rested and obviously feeling much better. We concluded that yesterday’s illness was perhaps due to motion sickness due from the long van ride to the embassy. In fact, she is feeling so much better that today has been one of our best days with her yet. After breakfast we went outside to play and she was on fire just laughing, running and being silly. We went into the conference room at the hotel and we played hide and seek (she is a master at this!) and I taught her some gymnastics and yoga. We definitely seem to have quite the sporty little girl. We had one of our best play times yet. We have seen her show grieving behavior a couple of times a day. She will all of a sudden get very quiet and we simply hold her and sing to her and then she falls asleep. We were told that her grieving would show itself in the form of ‘tantrum throwing’ or sleeping and so far it seems sleeping is the way she processes grief. She doesn’t stay asleep for long and she soon becomes playful again.

We were picked around noon to say our goodbyes at Hannah’s Hope and pick up her visa. She kept saying that she did not want to go to HH and when we pulled up she got a concerned look on her face. I think she thought that we were taking her back there. We kept saying, “We have to say Ciao, Almaz.” (Almaz is the director of HH. She seemed secure in this and went through the gates with no problem.) She immediately saw some of her special mothers and ran up to hug them. They beamed when they saw her and kept talking to her a mile a minute. The older kids were at school and the younger ones were eating lunch so she sat down and ate with them. The special mothers doted on her and stayed right by her side. I can imagine how hard it is for them to watch the children they have loved for so long leave. Almaz then went over a few last things with Matt and me. As she was finishing up the older children came running in the door and ran over to the three of us and began hugging and kissing us. I truly think my heart melted at that moment. It was so amazing to watch them love on Kewogo as they know it is her last day. After the kids and Matt left the room Almaz said the last thing she wanted to talk to us about was how to take care of Kewogo’s hair. I love this!!! I expected it to be something attachment related but no, it was all about hair! She told us what to expect from Kewogo’s hair and how it would grow and things she will probably like to do with it in the future. It was awesome. Almaz says that she knows how important hair is in the US and that as she grows she probably won’t like her short hair very much (her hair won’t get very long at all). It will definitely be a learning experience for all of us and I appreciated that Almaz gave it such serious attention.

It was then time to wrap up our goodbyes. First we said goodbye to the older children as they were heading back to school. Luckily this went quickly because my heart couldn’t have taken anything longer. It is amazing how these children have become such a part of our lives and we will never forget them or the affect they have had on us. Next, we made the rounds at HH and made sure Kewogo was able to say goodbye to all of her special mothers. One mother in particular held her for a long time and talked and talked to her. I was having the hardest time trying to fight back tears as I knew she was speaking only words of love to her. I was amazed as we watched Kewogo make the rounds and show strength in her goodbyes as we knew it was most likely difficult for her despite her excitement of going home with us on a plane. Once we felt that she had experienced all of her goodbyes and showed us she was ready to go we got in the van for our final trip back to the hotel. When we retuned we went in and ate lunch and Kewogo was in rare form. If she was sad she didn’t show it. She loves to play tricks on us and blame the other one. She also put on my sunglasses, stuck her hands in her pockets and pretended to strut as if she was walking down a fashion runway. Yes, this child will fit in perfectly with our family!

Then it was back up to the room to Skype with the kids before school. She loves hearing their voices and had fun calling out their names. I just have to interject one parental bragging moment. So yesterday Matt and I had sent Andrew a message telling him good luck at his baseball game and I told him to get some hits. He told me he would get some hits for Kewogo. Well, he did just that! One home run, a triple, and a single! Sorry to brag but it was his first home run ever and I thought it was pretty cool that he said he would do it for her. Next, the three of us took a nap and I began packing. We are sooo ready to begin our journey home! Last time we left here I was so sad to be leaving her behind and this time I am bursting at the seams to get home to our family so the kids can meet her and we can begin experiencing our new family life. When I look at this sweet child and the more we get to know her there Is NO doubt that God had chosen her specifically to be with our family. It was His plan all along and I cannot stop praising Him for taking a tragic situation and using it for good and for His glory. I know that there will be many rough days ahead as we move forward but I feel secure in the knowledge that we won’t have to go it alone as God has been present through every step of the way.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, and who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28-29

Our Embassy Day!

Thursday, May 31st – EMBASSY DAY FOR US AND KEWOGO!!!!


We can finally post the name of our daughter! Her Ethiopian name is Kewogo, which is pronounced (Ku-WAH-GO). She also has several nicknames. They are Ku-Wah, Ku-Gah, and Cowa. It has been kind of difficult because all of the staff, special mothers, and other children all call her something different. We have alternated between Kewogo and Ku-wah mostly. We have slowly introduced Lila and we will see what she begins to prefer. Today we took Kewogo to our embassy appointment. This is when the US Embassy asks us a series of questions, gives her a passport and then tomorrow they will give us her visa. I will first back up and say that Kewogo had another great night of sleep. I am glad at least one of us is sleeping because it sure isn’t me! She ate a great breakfast and the funniest thing was to watch her eat samosas, which are little fried pastry triangles filled with lentils. They are one of my favorite things to eat here and Kewogo liked them, too. She would take a bite off of the corner and then shake the lentils in her mouth. It was hilarious! After breakfast we came back up to the room and I was holding her and singing to her when all of a sudden she fell asleep. I was surprised since she had only been up for two hours.

Not too much after that we were picked up to go to the embassy. It was a long bus ride and Kewogo was very quiet. Then, she fell asleep again. We waited two hours and were the last family called. Kewogo was very quiet the whole time and took turns sitting in our laps. She even fell asleep again!! We had just finished with our appointment and we were giving each other and Kewogo a congratulatory hug when all of a sudden she let out a cry and threw up all over herself and Matt!!! And I mean ALL OVER! Of course we had not one thing to clean it up with so we went back to the bathroom and Matt attempted to clean himself up and I basically had to strip her down and luckily I had a tank top underneath my shirt so I put that on her. I might add that I had dressed her so cute in a purple flowered dress in the hopes of getting some good pictures afterwards. Oh well. It was so sad to watch her silent tears roll down her face. Thankfully our driver had plastic bags on the bus because she continued to get sick on the ride back to the hotel. Poor thing! It was awful. Finally, she fell asleep yet again. She stayed asleep in the hotel room when we returned and slept for a long time. Now the only reason we found this whole incident slightly amusing is that it is a well known fact that our children are big pukers and have to get sick every time we go on vacation or any little getaway. We think that this was Kewogo’s way of saying that she is definitely a Bendick and will fit in with our family just perfectly!!

When she finally woke up she was smiling and playful and definitely had some energy back. We played for a little bit and then I gave her a shower. I was reaching for a towel when all of a sudden I look over at her and she had grabbed Matt’s razor and had shaved a piece of her hair off!!! I screamed and she held out the razor and piece of hair as though I should be proud of her! Scared me to death! I really expected to see blood somewhere, but when I examined her and found none my heartbeat began to resume to normal.

We then went down to dinner and met our friends for dinner. I had dressed her in an Ethiopian dress in a second attempt to get some good pictures now that we can FINALLY share them. We tried and tried but she would have none of it. Soon after we sat down for dinner she started getting quiet again. Scared that we would have another getting sick incident I took her back up to the room and Matt and I ate in shifts. She fell asleep again we believe she is out for the night. It was not quite the magical day that we had anticipated but we are thankful to officially be through with the legal side of this. We won’t really feel like everything is complete until we are home safely reunited with the whole family.