What is on my bedside table

Here is just a small sampling of the books I have been reading over the past year. Matt and I have been trying to educate ourselves as much as possible on all aspects of adoption, as well as Ethiopia and its culture. Some books I have already passed on to others, while some have been returned to the library. These are the ones that remain for now. One has nothing to do with adoption, but is about confronting your fears. That one has been invaluable to us. One is a novel that takes place in Ethiopia, while another is about a couple opening a women's hospital in Addis Ababa. That one is titled The Hospital by the River by Dr. Catherine Hamlin and the stories are still so fresh in my mind. This beautiful couple dedicated their lives to women suffering the catastrophic effects of obstructed labor. The degradation that these women experience tears at my heart and I can't stop thinking of them. One story that is told is of a young woman who arrived at their hospital with a sign around her neck which read, 'Dear Doctor Hamlin, Princess Tsehai Hospital.' They discovered that it had taken her 7 years to get to the hospital because that is how long it took her to beg for bus fare.

This week as I get frustrated when my computer isn't fast enough, the red light is too long, the Christmas shopping lines are too long, I think of that girl who waited all of those years at the chance to be healed from her suffering. I would love to be able to visit that hospital. Even though I have zero medical training, I would just love the chance to hold the hands of those young girls and women, and comfort them as they are waiting to be healed.

Reading about the waiting these women experience puts our difficulties of waiting for our future daughter into perspective. We long for the day when we meet her, but I know that all of this waiting is for a purpose. I am reminded of a verse that has always comforted me. I first heard it my senior year of high school when my gymnastics coach presented of us with plaques with this verse engraved on them, Isaiah 40:31 'but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings with eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.' We certainly draw strength from that hope.

As of December 9th we are currently 66th on the girls list.

Collecting donations for Hannah's Hope

Brooke in front of the Hannah's Hope donations collected at her party.

The home where our new daughter will come from is named Hannah's Hope. I am not sure how many children are currently living in Hannah's Hope, but in the past I think there have been around 60 kids. They range in ages from infants to school age children. It looks like such a loving home that also serves as a church and school, and I am so thankful that our daughter will be able to transition there before we bring her home. I have really wanted to do something for Hannah's Hope for awhile, but couldn't decide what. Then, as I was planning Brooke's birthday party it hit me. I suggested to Brooke that instead of gifts this year for her party why don't we ask her guests to bring a donation that would benefit the children at Hannah's Hope. Brooke, being the giving hearted girl that she is, loved the idea and didn't hesitate one bit in saying yes. I contacted our agency and they told me the biggest need is diapers, formula, clothes, and shoes. It was so exciting the day of her party as her guests brought in the donation items. I can't wait to ship it off and more than that I can't wait to someday soon meet the children in Hannah's Hope.

Also, we found out this week that we are 71st on the waiting list! We are excited to see we are moving up! I am starting to have adoption dreams which are sometimes pleasant, but one I had this week was scary. In my dream while I was feeling scared, God was speaking to me telling me to have faith and pray to him for peace. I love that He comforts me even in my dreams!

On a Waiting List!

This is a picture of all of the receipts I collected from mailing important papers and documents over the last few months.

On September 9th we were placed on a waiting list! Hooray! As of Sept. 9th we were 91st on the girls list and as of today, Oct. 7 we are 81st! It was a very happy day to get that call last month after so many months of preparation. The kids and I were curled up on the couch watching Little House on the Prairie when we got the call (yes go ahead and make fun- I make them watch my favorite childhood show - luckily for me they like it!). The kids could tell by my words and reaction that we were finally on a waiting list. They started silently jumping up and down so I could finish my conversation. It was very exciting! Matt had to work late that night and when he got home and saw our smiling faces he knew something was up. The kids had fun telling him the good news. Two days later though we experienced a dark cloud over our happy mood as we were told that because of changes regarding Ethiopian adoptions that the wait times for a referral had significantly increased. This was very difficult for us to hear and we had to let it soak in. As I have said through this whole process God's timing is amazing because just a few days later our family had the opportunity to go see Steven Curtis Chapman and family in concert. The Chapman family are big encouragers of adoption having adopted three girls from China (one was tragically killed in 2007) and they shared a lot about adoption and their story. We loved listening to his music and their story and immediately felt encouraged knowing that even though the wait could be long, it will all be worth it. Another highlight of the night was hearing Steven Curtis Chapman sing "I Will be Here" which was the song Matt and I had sung at our wedding.



So I have been hit with a barrage of encouraging verses in the last two days and just have to share them. Matt and I are huge Glee fans and look forward to watching it every Tuesday night. We couldn't wait to watch it this week as we knew Finn found faith in grilled cheesus! The episode's focus was really on Kurt though, a non believer who was searching for something to believe in. He finally found something and sang a tribute to his dad with The Beatles song, "I Want to Hold Your Hand.'" This is one of my favorite Beatles songs and I immediately put Kurt's version on my ipod. Interestingly, the title of my devotion this morning was Hold My Hand. It talked about when Joshua took over the leadership of Israel, Moses reminded him of God's help in tough times. Deut. 31:8 Moses said, "The Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not be dismayed." Then Isaiah 41:13 encourages us with these words from God: "I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you.'" This encourages me because I know during these uncertain times and days ahead as we wait, we can hold God's strong hand. Then the verse on my daily devotion calendar reads, "I have set the Lord before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure." Psalm 16:8-9

How thankful we are to have God's hand to hold as we wait!

Almost on a Waiting List!

Yes, I took the whole summer off of blogging but things are still moving forward with our adoption process. Our move delayed the process by a bit since we had to be somewhat settled in our new home before our social worker could come here for her 4th and final visit with us. She came out on July 13th and then after she submitted her write up, our home study was approved on August 7th! Hooray! There were several things we had to redo when we moved, such as updated police reports, another home fire safety inspection, update our house pictures, and get a couple of last documents notarized. I couldn't wait to mail off our dossier! I actually wanted all of the paperwork out of the house. I kept having these visions of orange juice spilling on them or some other catastrophe occurring that would wipe out several months of hard work and physical, emotional, and mental investment. On the first day of school I took our dossier to Fed Ex, copied it three times as I was supposed to, and mailed it off. That sounds simple, right? Well, I thought was going to hyperventilate at the Fed Ex office! I was so nervous about these documents making it to Oregon safely that I had the Fed Ex guy go over the whole process of how these documents would reach their destination. He was laughing at me promising that it would get there just fine. When he asked me how much the contents were worth, "Over $100 or under$100?" I just stared at him with my mouth open. "Priceless," I told him. He laughed again while he selected under $100. I still haven't told Matt how much I paid to have them shipped overnight, but it was worth my piece of mind. They did arrive the very next day and my agency was so gracious to call me as soon as it arrived. There are a couple of minor changes we need to make to a couple of the documents and hopefully we will be on a waiting list in a week!

A few weeks ago I was reading the book, Simple Acts of Faith, to the boys. It is a beautiful book with the artwork of one of our favorite artists, Norman Rockwell. In the book there was a quote that we all liked in the book which is, "Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of doing." Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Andrew was asking me questions about this author and I said I didn't know much about him. It turns out he was a German Philosopher. Well, the next day I came across another passage of his which I felt has summed up how we have felt during this adoption process.

Where Commitment Leads, Providence Follows

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meeting and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.

Since we have begun this process we certainly feel that God has affirmed us along the way with the way events have fallen into place.

What a Whirlwind!!

I took a picture of this workbook I spent hours filling out. I mailed it UPS and insured it, etc because if I would have died if I had gotten lost somehow. Lots of labor in that one!

So I have obviously done a horrible job of keeping our adoption blog updated. The last few months have been a whirlwind and it was all I could do to keep afloat each day, but I am ready to get back on track!! The timing of everything the past three months has been completely amazing. We listed our house the same week we received our adoption binders full of paperwork. As I was working on all of our paperwork and Matt and I were filling out our life histories, I was also working at keeping the house continuously spotless to show it on any given day, and working on finding a new house in Columbus. Since I have had all of our paperwork sprawled all over the dining room table, before each house showing I would have to gather it all up, stash it in the basement, then lug it back out again. It was getting old. Throughout all of the stress I kept praying that we would yield to God's timing in all of this and know that His timing is perfect. That is honestly the only way we got through it. I know many people think we are crazy to be adopting at the same time we are moving but the whole experience has actually been a blessing. After countless hours of paperwork, 10 hours of adoption training, reading through a 20 chapter workbook and answering questions, getting countless papers notarized, going to the social security office three times, getting in an argument with the man at the social security office, then having to apologize to the man at the social security office, going to the post office and bank countless times, praying for strength to get it all completed...... it finally happened! We got it all accomplished in seven weeks.

The amazing thing is that even though it was completely overwhelming at times, it was never a burden! We just kept thinking of our daughter halfway around the world and how hard we were working to bring her home someday. That and strength from God is what kept us going. On April 28th I mailed in my completed workbook. That was the last piece of what was needed before we could begin our home visits with our social worker. The next day I left for Austin to go visit my sister and new niece. At the airport I get a call from Matt saying we got an offer on our house. Once again I was amazed at how the two big events in our lives continues to come together simultaneously. When I returned a few days later we ended up selling our house the day that our social worker called to set up our home interviews. What relief and joy all at once!

When our social worker showed up for the first time, I wanted to hug her when I met her!! I was so glad to be past the first part of the paperwork phase (I know more will come) that I wasn't even one bit nervous, just very happy. We have had three interviews so far and they have been wonderful. It makes it real being able to sit and talk with someone about our future daughter. Since our social worker will have to come see us in our new home, we decided it would be best to finish the last interview in Columbus in our new home. This will delay us a few weeks but we thought it made sense. Our last interview will be on July 7th. I can't wait!!!!

Another step closer....

On March 8th I received two big three ring binders. One was our adoption planner and one was our home study binder. Now I had been sooo excited to receive everything and couldn't wait to get started on it. However, when I opened up the contents and saw all I had to do I will have to say overwhelmed is an understatement for how I felt. In addition to the adoption paperwork, we listed our house that week, and received several pieces of disheartening news regarding the health of some of our family members. How many times that week did I say 1st Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxieties upon the Lord because he loves and cares for you. !!

In addition to all of that we found out that we will now have to travel to Ethiopia twice!! We told ourselves going into this to prepare to expect the unexpected and this was our first taste of that. Luckily we are in the beginning stages and have time to process that additional cost and experience. I feel for the families who are much further along in the process. Fortunately, two days after I received my planners I had a phone conference with our case manager and she walked me through everything regarding the paperwork process. I felt worlds better after talking to her and now 2 weeks later I can't believe how much I have gotten done! Let me say that although I was completely overwhelmed, never ONCE have I felt burdened. We have never ONCE questioned whether or not we are doing the right thing. So far the whole process has gotten me even more excited and we just keep focusing on the day we will bring our daughter home.

I am thrilled with our agency so far and they have been very helpful to me. In the meantime, as we fill out form after form and prepare our hearts and home, I will cling to Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

Sharing our news

A couple of weeks ago we began to tell our family and friends about our decision to adopt. I underestimated how fun it would be telling people. Everyone we have told has shared in our joy and excitement and it has been a relief to be able to openly talk about it now. Our families have been wonderful and supportive, not that we thought they would be anything but. The night we told Matt's mom she told us that just that very morning when she was at church she had gone to the front of the sanctuary with her granddaughter to hear the children's message. After the message was over the congregants at the front of the church were told to place their hands on the child's head in front of them as they prayed. Jan placed her hand on an African American boy and as she prayed over him she thought to herself that we truly are all God's children, and he loves everyone of us. Little did she know that we would call her that night and tell her that we would be adopting a child from Africa through the agency named All God's Children!

Two funny reactions came from my 5 year old nieces. One of them thought that we were trading in Brooke for an orphan and fled the room crying as Matt's sister was explaining what we were doing. Luckily everything was straightened out in a few minutes! When my other niece heard we were adopting a child from Ethiopia she said to her mom with wide eyes, "They are getting a child from Genovia!" If anyone has seen the Disney movie, "The Princess Diaries," Genovia is the land in the story where the main character in the story comes from. Luckily, her confusion was shortly made clear as well.

The day after I shared our news with one of my dear friends, Lisa, she came over the next day and gave me a picture frame. The words on it reads, We loved you before we knew you- even when there was just the hope of you we loved you. Those words couldn't be more perfect because that is exactly we feel! Even though we don't know our daughter yet, we know that God knows her and it is amazing for us to think that halfway around the world is a precious child who will one day be a part of our family. We do already love her. One verse that come to mind during the past two weeks for me is Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Our paper pregnancy begins

Well we were officially approved by our agency (hooray!) and have now started the paperwork process. Otherwise referred to as our "paper pregnancy." I was very excited to receive our big packet of the initial information in the mail. I squealed when I saw the fed ex truck coming up our driveway because I knew what he was bringing me and I couldn't wait to tear open the contents of the envelope. It was exciting for me to read through everything and I really want to take the time to enjoy each step of the process. Matt and I had to read through everything and then have a teleconference with someone from our agency. We were on the phone with her for about an hour and a half this past Tuesday. She did a great job going over all of the information and answering any questions we had. Matt and I got off the phone and agreed that it was mentally exhausting as there was so much information presented, and we realize that it is only the beginning!

Last week Matt and Andrew were able to attend a meeting with an adoption group and hear a family present their story of adopting a baby boy from Ethiopia. (I had to stay home with a sick Luke). I was so glad that Andrew was able to go because he was very moved by what he heard and saw. He came home and told me that it made him want to adopt all of the children there. He told Luke all about what was shared since he had to miss it. I am very thankful that my children will be able to have this experience.

The Starfish Story

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself as he thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean. He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possible make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said,"It made a difference for that one."

Matt and I have officially begun our journey into adoption! Our family is in the beginning stages of adopting a little girl from Ethiopia. I mailed our adoption application on Monday, January 25th. The kids had off of school that day and we stopped by the post office before heading down to the Cleveland Museum of Natural History. Andrew took this picture of me with the envelope in hand. It was a wonderful feeling placing that envelope into the mailbox! An overwhelming feeling of excitement rushed through me. As I got back into the car, we said a prayer and went on our way. When we arrived at the museum we couldn't believe how many artifacts and displays there were of Africa. It had been a few years since we had been there and it was fun for us to look at all of this and think that our child would come from this amazing continent. There were also articles and information specific to Ethiopia. What perfect timing!

When we got home that day, I learned that about the same time that I was mailing my envelope an Ethiopian Airlines plane had crashed killing everyone on board. As I thought about the victims I wondered, too, if this would be one of the many events that would instill a sense of fear in me. Would Matt and I be flying this airline to go pick up our daughter someday? Was this a "sign" that we weren't supposed to be doing this. Thankfully that thought only entertained my brain for one second. I have full confidence that this is what God has called us to do. One of my dear friends told me about a book that Matt and I have both loved! The title is In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day - How to Survive and Thrive When Opportunity Roars by Mark Batterson. It is a wonderful and timely book for us. One of the verses that was included in the beginning stood out to me. It is from 1st John 4:18 - There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear. I will cling to this verse as I experience those moments of fear.